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Soup of This Day #34: Stem Cells Are Not Just For Saving Lives

July 16, 2011

Refined Gold Dust
Gold precipitate produced via the aqua regia refining process. This involves using a corrosive cocktail of acids to dissolve noble metals, such as gold and platinum. It’s not so good on titanium – Photo: Greenhorn1, 2010. Greenhorn1 is not affiliated with Longworth72. Image cropped by Longworth72.

The other day I noticed that a significant number of MLB pitchers are still wearing Phiten branded necklaces and assorted other items. Apparently they contain an array of metals, including titanium and gold, dissolved in water (aqua titanium and aqua gold apparently), which is then used to impregnate material. The theory is that the metals will aid the well-being of the wearer simple via contact. Hopefully the majority of users are wearing them as a novelty or for superstitious reasons because that is one of the stupidest claims I’ve ever read. This hasn’t stopped a number of athletes, including some from the Red Sox, from endorsing said shit so in this fine tradition here now is Longworth72’s preferred products and sponsors:

Longworth72 is written via a 7 year old PC that embarrassingly Longworth72 cannot remember much about. It’s embarrassing because Longworth72 is in the IT business and he has no idea what chip, motherboard or harddrive he has in the machine. He assumes all of those things are in there. To be fair, it’s a generic whitebox and it mostly works so Longworth72 doesn’t much care. He does on occasion use the family iPad for writing as well but thinks that the WordPress iPad app is buggy and so finds it easier on his desktop computer.

When out and about Longworth72 likes a lined Moleskin notepad. They fit his pocket and just feel like they were made for serious writing. He has no preferred brand of pen, instead liking any with a nice weight and balance. The pen should have an easy motion and a comfortable grip. It should be able to write blog posts by itself. Longworth72 has seen that done. Possibly in a Harry Potter film.

His baseball hats are New Era or American Needle. The latter does a good range of Cooperstown classic models for the Red Sox with the 46-51, the 33-35 and 75-78 models being favourites. Longworth72’s size is somewhere between 7 3/8 and 7 ½, 7 3/8 being a fraction too tight and 7 ½ a fraction too loose. If he could easily get a glove in Australia, that didn’t come at a ridiculous markup from the States he’d like to think he’d endorse Rawlings.

For Liverpool shirts and scarves he is religious about authenticity, preferring the recent Adidas models to the previous Reebok ones. He likes the retro 70s numbers as well and his all-time favourite is his prized 1989 home shirt which sadly no longer fits. He stubbornly takes a large, lately with his loving wife rolling her eyes in the background and muttering about having to take stuff back later.

For watching sport, Longworth72 refuses to pay for TV in Australia, reasoning that it’s overpriced and a monopoly to boot (Ahh, but those chickens are coming home to roost Rupert). He instead watches baseball via the MLB At Bat 11 app on the family iPad, which is a little bit wonderful and well worth the price, even when Red Sox games aren’t on. The other morning Longworth72 got to watch the Indians demoralizing the Whiny Birds at Camden Yards with a side order of Toronto spanking the Yankees 8-0 in the 1st, all while eating breakfast and ironing his clothes. Priceless.

Also on the iPad, for Australian viewers of the Tour de France, there is a free app from SBS that gives fantastic live coverage and commentary. It’s recently been updated to fix up a number of bugs that caused the live video feed to not work, rendering this app useful again and allowing Longworth72 to climb the mountains on his exercise bike with the Tour playing out in front of him. He has just completed the 1st category Col de la Core. It was tough.

Sadly the English Premier League can’t or won’t match this facility and so Liverpool games are watched on replay via a subscription to LiverpoolFC.tv with live audio feeds coming from anywhere else (The club’s in-house broadcasts are a little too biased and whiny). Dockers games are via free-to-air when they’re on and score updates are via the excellent Footy Live app for iPad and iPhone when Longworth72 is forced to go a-roaming.

His current football boots are Nike but his all-time greatest were a pair of Umbro Pele 10s. He wore them for 10 years, until duct tape could no longer patch up the damage. They were black. Longworth72 believes that all football boots should be black, because that’s what they used to be in a time when people focused solely on stuff that mattered, i.e. The game. That’s why nun’s where simple habits, because it’s not about the habit. Lance Armstrong said so.

Coloured boots are unnecessary frippery and thus are for pretentious gits strikers. His keeper’s gloves are Sondico and his favourite football is a 2002 World Cup special. His favourite Aussie football is a good old-fashioned Western Australian Burley, as opposed to the flashy Eastern States model Sherrin.

Financially, Longworth72 is sponsored by a wonderful wife, sometimes referred to as a sports widow, and an equally wonderful kid, Noah William Sirius. Longworth72 also receives financial backing from his day job although he suspects that that is for services rendered apart from this blog.

Longworth72’s writing style heavily utilizes subtle-brand irony and occasionally, gentle mocking. For reasons probably best explained by his childhood there is an occasional tendency to get a bit too clever. He is working at suppressing his inner pretentious arse though and hopes that nobody thinks that he thinks that he is somehow smarter or better than everyone else. He does like to refer to himself in the 3rd person but this is self-mocking rather than a sense of superiority.

Longworth72 aspires for his posts to be easy to read and to be well-rounded. They are therefore designed to be largely self-contained, giving readers closure via a structured beginning-middle-end-which-references-the-beginning flow. The aim is that each post will be neat and although there is no self-imposed word limit there is a ‘sweating’ process to tighten each one up before publication. Longworth72 most definitely does not like to leave a post hangi…

In this instance Longwoorth72 is going to return to the Phiten necklaces and the Yankees at Toronto. The New Yorkers lost Game 1 16-7, with starting pitcher Bartolo Colon, perhaps a little stressed from an investigation into the use of stem cells to fix a shoulder injury via a procedure in the Dominican Republic, pulled after 0.2 innings. For the 2 outs he gave up 8 runs. There is no word on whether he is a Phiten fan but if he isn’t Longworth72 suggests that dropping $50 on 1 New York Yankees Tornado MLB Authentic Collection Titanium 22″ Necklace by Phiten is a small price to pay for a potentially sounder mind and a quicker recovery. 

Even if it does the square root of bugger all (and it most assuredly will, thanks to something called science) then the Bartolomeister is only $50 out of pocket for string braided and soaked in a solution of water and titanium (maybe). Much cheaper than stem cells and without the annoying associated MLB oversight. Those pesky MLB guys, worrying about a stem cell op in the Dominican Republic supervised by a guy who is known to do Human Growth Hormone treatments on similar injuries.

Longworth72 does not endorse cheats.

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