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Soup of This Day #136: And I Don’t Dig What You Gotta Say

February 11, 2012

Stockport Viaduct
Stockport Viaduct, with it’s 27 arches, carries a main train line across the River Mersey. Completed in 1840, this Victorian masterpiece is 33.85m high and required 11,000,000 bricks in it’s construction – Photo: Serigrapher, 2007. Serigrapher is not affiliated with Longworth72. Image cropped by Longworth72.

Today this blog received it’s 1st piece of hate mail. Which is nice. Both in that a. I got mail and b. That it took 9 months for anybody to hate what I’ve written enough that they could take the time to say hi.

They didn’t really say hi – To be honest I’m not entirely sure what they did say. Possibly it’s because they were so filled with rage or maybe they were just in a hurry but either way their missive didn’t really flow in any coherent way.

The really confusing thing was that they wrote their commentary in response to a post in which I expressed support for homosexual people, black people, foreign people and residents of Stockport yet I’m not sure which 1 of those got my correspondent all worked up – Maybe it was all 4.

This concerns me – I’ve never been to Stockport but the photos do look nice and I’m sure it’s a right decent place to settle down. They even have a football team there and in the interests of breaking down the barriers between me and my readership I figured that I’d maybe give a brief run-down on them for everybody.

Here then is Longworth72’s Guide to Stockport County FC:

As mentioned above I’ve never been to Stockport. Or the UK, where Stockport has been inconveniently located since around 1170. I mean inconveniently for me, because if Stockport was in, say Perth, Western Australia, then what I’m writing would have a whole lot more credence. For Stockportians though their town is very conveniently situated where they live.

Stockport County FC were formed in 1883 as Heaton Norris Rovers. This quite frankly brilliant name was sadly swapped for the current moniker in 1890. 10 years after that County were admitted to the League and 2 years after that they moved into their current ground Edgeley Park. Prior to that they had made do with various parks and for a while, using a pub barn as a changing room.

Oh for the days when pubs had barns.

Edgeley Park has always been a bit more sophisticated than that and the modern incarnation of it is a handsome stadium with a capacity of 10,841. The record attendance exceeds that figure, Edgeley squeezed in 27,833 for a February 11, 1950 FA Cup stoush with Liverpool FC.

For the record Liverpool won 2-1. The 2 outfits have met just 7 times in their collective history with the Reds winning 5 and drawing the other 2.

Stockport are generally referred to as County or the Hatters, apparently because Stockport used to have a thriving hat-making industry. This may lead to confusion with Luton Town FC who are also known as the Hatters and do play in the same division as Stockport. Luton was a town big on making hats too and I’m sure matches between the 2 are marked by fans chucking millinery insults at each other.

Or just millinery, Oddjob-style.

Stockport County, to be fair, haven’t been massively successful, probably due to the name change – Heaton Norris Rovers would surely have been in the Premiership by now. County by contrast have lived largely towards the bottom of the League, albeit admirably without break from 1905 until 2011. For the current season they have finally dipped below the bottom of the League, joining Luton Town as a member of the Conference National.

County is currently managed by Jim Gannon, an Irishman who also happened to play for Stockport for 10 years, across the 90’s. The current club Chairman is Baron Snape who is not thought to be a relative of Severus Snape of Harry Potter fame, principally because the latter is fictional. Baron Snape, who is real, is a former British MP who once had a glass of orange juice poured over him by an annoyed fellow parliamentarian.

Wild times.

Not so wild is Stockport’s 2011/2012 season. County are in 19th in the Conference National – A long way from returning to the League and just 2 points from being relegated to an even lower stage. It could be worse – This time last month, after a loss to the other Hatters, Luton Town, Stockport were just a point above the relegation zone and struggling. Since then they have taken draws against Braintree Town and AFC Telford before a last-start 2-1 win at Edgeley Park over Kidderminster Harriers.

Some final Stockport County trivia: County once had a relationship with a Chinese team, based in Yingkou, with the Asian club changing it’s name to Stockport Tiger Star in recognition of their English brethren. This friendship across the globe is apparently indicative of the nature of County’s supporters – Their fans are known as ‘The Blue and White Army’ after County’s blue and white striped home strip but their positive attitude to opposition clubs has also led to them being labelled ‘The Friendly Football Club.’

I bet they don’t get hate mail then.

To finish this post up I have a tip for the dude or dudette that wrote in: I don’t mind swearing – Sometimes it’s the best way to communicate something. The thing is though that there is a ratio of swear words to non-swear words that you really need to observe, otherwise what you’re writing makes no sense. It’s a bit like vowels and consonants – Consonants surely are sexy – They make up 3/4 of the word sexy so that’s a pretty obvious conclusion. But every now and then you have to go and use a plain old vowel, just to add some sinew to those sexy bones.

If you don’t then y’r jst fckng dffclt t cmmnct wth.

Meanwhile I can be reached via longworth72@gmail.com or through a comment on this blog.

And I Don’t Dig What You Gotta Say

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